Psychological methods to stay calm in a critical situation?

How many times does it happen to you that your mind goes blank in a bad situation?

When there is an absolute demand for logical thinking like in an exam, proposing to a girl, facing interviews, etc.

You are not the only one, this was actually inbuilt in our system by nature to protect ourselves from wild animals.

But in 2022 it is uncommon to see wild animals on road but our body & mind does not know that.

It reacts the same by shutting down logical thinking and triggering a fight or flight response.

We will discuss it in more detail and practical solutions to deal with this.

What actually happens in the brain, when situations go bad?

When a new challenge is placed over the subjects it is found that.

There is increased activity in the amygdala region of the brain which triggers flight or fight response.

The logical center is shut down partially or completely and you feel your mind getting blank and an increase in stress levels in your body.

But some people who are practitioners of meditation show great control over their emotions.

What is calmness actually?

Calmness is the ability to remain still and unattached from situation to find best possible solution to a problem.

You can not find the best solution when you are too attached to the results and outcomes that are not in your control.

Pro athletes are taught how to focus and be in-game rather than allowing their minds to wander in fear of loss or the greed of winning.

I am giving some methods below that I have created by the combination of psychology and spiritualism, give it a try. It works for me most probably it will work for you too.

Step – 1 ) Switching from reactor to observer

I had the worst temper when I was in college, I remember breaking my own mobile with my hands due to arguments with family.

I know deeply this temper is not very good for people around me but I can not control every people and situation.

So i start working on my reactions and use constructive thinking to deal with problems and people around me.

How I did that

There is an easy method to make yourself become detached from the problem, in Buddhism it is called “Anapanasati “.

It means awareness of breath.

What you need to do is sit in a room and focus your attention on observing sensations caused by incoming and outcoming breath.

Dont try to control your breath just observe it like floating water while doing so.

Many thoughts, it can be images and voices come into your mind and you become lost in them.

But when you become aware that you are lost, get back to breathing don’t feel frustrated because it is how the mind is.

How this helps me

Don’t judge the effectiveness of this process by its simplicity.

You are actually changing the brain structure and neurons working in your mind.

You are moving toward your real nature which is observation, not a reaction.

Then slowly move the same observation with your thoughts and emotions 24*7 . Real meditation is awareness of what you think, feel and do throughout the day.

By doing so you feel a positive change in your life without your knowledge, you don’t have to cultivate it just let the awareness flow.

Step – 2 ) Increasing your understanding of the futility of reactions.

Increasing just not your knowledge but your capacity of understanding the real world can give you insight.

Knowledge does not help much but understanding does.

If you carefully observe the whole process of the situation and your own reaction to it.

You will find reactions only make the situation worst, the best solution is found after the event has passed.

When you say I should have done that or that will be better or I should not say that. This is a sign that more careful thinking is required in the situation of crisis.

Since problems are not wild animals we don’t need to run away from them but try to buy some time to find the best possible solution in place of reacting toward it.

Step – 3 ) Getting control over your emotions

As an Indian, I thrive on emotions so it is a lie to say I don’t feel emotions such as anger, greed, and frustration.

Everybody equally feels the same emotions but those who can manage their emotions well will become excellent human beings.

If you get burned with anger when someone abuses you or says something bad about you then you are giving him power over you.

Means he is the controller and you are letting him get you controlled.

It does not mean you have to be scared or run away, Just look him in the eye with confidence and respond with positivity.

“There are two ways to win over an enemy or situation either put him down or make yourself big.”

The latter one is constructive and it creates respect in another person for you.

Choosing when to react and when not is an art that comes with careful observation of life and with observation comes understanding, not knowledge.

Knowledge can be borrowed or can be read through a book but understanding is a personal thing which comes with observation without bias and pre – belief.

Step – 4 ) Letting go of control over uncontrollable in life

If you see carefully you will notice that there are things that you can control,

And people stop their understanding there and beat themselves when something out of calculations happens or happens differently than in their head.

Let’s walk a step further with me and also acknowledge the uncontrollable in life

and the more you get into this more you find that uncontrollable factors are infinitely greater than the controllable ones.

For example  – try to control what other thinks about you, the result of an exam or interview, temperature, failure- success

This is real life examples of uncontrollable, but what do you get from this understanding?

Are your efforts futile?

Let’s say you want a banana tree in your garden, do you want to wait for the universe to grow it there?

Or you dig a hole sow the seed, give it fertilizers & water, and wait for it to grow.

In our instant gratification era, we have lost touch with nature.

And nature is not instant yet everything is achieved. Everything has its own course of the process.

What you need to do is let the emotions play their game, meanwhile, you just observe the reactions inside yourself and let it be.

And think solutions from a logical mind.

Create a separation between sensation and observation and don’t ask how to you just do it because you are blessed with the power of observation and awareness.

Step – 5 ) Calmness is not a lack of emotions but acknowledging and going beyond it

The best way to keep something in mind is to try to forget it repeatedly.

If you repel and compress emotions or try to put them under the carpet it is a sure way to keep them forever.

But if you see emotions and acknowledge them as it is, not judging or biasing your emotions then there is a chance of letting them pass.

You see emotions just like thoughts are changing throughout the day and can see their fleeting nature.

But if you get fixed on one emotion or thought then it will create problems.

Calmness is not about having no emotions but giving emotions it’s the right place and not putting them under the carpet.

The secret of top athletes and coaches for their excellent capacity to remain calm under high pressure.

The secret behind these people lies in their mindset and practice that made them separate from other players.

I have pinned some important methods that they use below that you can also apply in your life,

1 ) Focusing on the game, not on the result.

They practice a habit of remaining calm and focused on finding solutions to problems in their daily life.

You can’t expect to be focused on games under high pressure if you don’t practice this in simple tasks of daily life.

So what you practice daily is imprinted in your subconscious mind.

2 ) Understanding that the only way to improve results is via improving the game not thinking about win or loss

The only way to change the outcome is to change the action you perform.

The result is just a byproduct of what you do + external factors that are beyond your control.

The better you understand this fact, the better will be your performance in the situation.

  As stated by Shri Krishna in Bhagwat Geeta “YOGAH KARMASHU KOSHLAMA”.

It means Doing work skillfully is yoga, detachment to the result is the key to performing actions as best as possible.

It does not mean not making goals but while performing action after careful planning,

Your whole focus should be to give all your resources of mind, and body that everything you got into the task you perform.

And you get detached only when you get a taste of happiness caused by doing the right task beautifully.

Such a task is bound to create success for you and then only you can remain unaffected by failure or success, profit or loss.

3) Accepting shortcomings, failures, and improvement 

They don’t get heartbroken from the failures.

The mindset to accept shortcomings in the performance and work on improving it made them winners.

And this can be possible only if you don’t get too excited by the success of your performance and focus on the next game.

Your satisfaction and happiness should depend on how well you have performed not on the praises and success or failure of external factors.

Takeaway

Some personal advice –

@ focus on the reactions of yourself 

You can ultimately control only yourself, not other situations and people.

@ I blamed myself for not achieving even when I tried harder.

So I must say to increase understanding of the uncontrollable factors in the universe.

@ Having a growth mindset is to learn from mistakes and accepting the past will help you in becoming the best person you want to be.

@focusing too much on the results or outcomes gets you distracted from giving your best performance and hence hinder good results.

@Get the enjoyment of doing good work then only you can be free from the results of their outcome.